‘Talking with you has been so wonderful….thank you for helping me to put the jigsaw of my life together’.
My mind has always worried. What if I’m late? What if I forget something? What if this person doesn’t like me? What if I can’t do my job? What if I make a mistake and look stupid? What if they find out I’m actually just NOT GOOD ENOUGH?
This tendency to think the worst has been with me since childhood, and I used to hate it. It nagged at the back of my mind the whole time, undermining my confidence, limiting my sense of what I could and couldn’t do. Some of my earliest attempts to control it involved obsessive compulsive strategies, which helped in the short term but only made the worrying worse over time.
As the years passed I found that sometimes I was able to overcome my anxiety, but at other times it took centre stage. I tried lots of things to get rid of it – counselling, meditation, fitness – but although these activities helped in many ways, the worrying never disappeared completely. In my thirties I started to experience anxiety attacks, and that’s when I realised I needed a different approach.
When I discovered ACT it was like diving into cool, clear water and emerging into a completely new perspective. All my life I had been fighting a part of myself – the concept of forming a relationship with it had never occurred to me. Yet it fitted so much better with my life philosophy, as well as making scientific sense.
So I dropped the struggle with my anxiety. I turned towards it. I let it sit next to me. I listened to it. I felt it. And you know what? It was OK. I didn’t die. My heart didn’t explode. I kept breathing. And the more I got to know my anxiety, the more kindly I felt towards this part of myself. We came to an arrangement – when this part shows up, I say hello and I make room for it. I call her my ‘needy friend’, and I treat her endless stream of advice, warnings and worries with affectionate acceptance. I know that she’s trying to keep me safe, and that she only worries because she cares deeply. I acknowledge, and even admire those qualities, and then I get on with doing whatever I need to do.
This is what ACT did for me, and as a qualified and experienced therapist this is what I want to offer to others. This concept of psychological acceptance allows us to harness the power in our pain and helps us move towards a richer and more meaningful life.
‘I feel very fortunate to have met and worked with Elle and am incredibly grateful to have had her in my corner whilst I was unwell. I would have no hesitation in going back to see Elle; similarly she will be top of my list of recommended therapists should any of my friends or loved ones need the same type of support in the future’.
Qualifications
MA Counselling and Psychotherapy in Practice (ongoing)
Advanced Diploma in Integrative Counselling (2015)
Certificate in Counselling
Certificate in Focusing
ACT and Anxiety, ACT as a Brief Intervention (FACT)
BA Hons English Lit
